If you have found yourself here, then you may have just recently discovered you are pregnant and you are considering giving baby up for adoption or seeking out your pregnancy options. Adoption could be something you’re looking at or maybe this is the first time you are actually paying the idea any attention. Either way, this is the perfect blog for you. A few conditions can cause you to ask if adoption is right for me. Maybe this isn’t the right time, maybe financially you can’t raise a child right now, or your home environment just isn’t stable enough. It’s okay, resources are out there for you and this blog is here to walk you through one of the most amazing ways to deal with an unplanned pregnancy.
Adoption can be very complicated, but why not simplify it all? We can’t make it a two phone call and a sign here situation, it won’t ever be that simple. What we can do is make sure that you are in confident hands the entire time. Our team at Abiding Love takes adoption incredibly seriously. This is our passion and infant adoption is our specialization. We put the birth mother first and mean it. If you want to reach out to us, you can call us today at (800) 277-0748. In today’s blog, we answer the most frequently asked questions about adoption in 2020 and get right into understanding infant adoption.
Looking for A Particular Answer To Your Question?
- Our Adoption Process
- Is Adoption Right For Me?
- Is The Permission Of The Biological Father Needed?
- Open Vs. Closed Adoption
- Can I Choose Who Adopts My Child?
- Can I Change My Mind About Adoption At Birth?
- Will My Child Grow To Resent Me?
- What If I Choose A Closed Adoption and Want to Change My Mind?
- Can My Child Track Me Down When They’re Older?
- Do I Need An Attorney?
- How Do I Know The Adoptive Family Is Safe?
Our Adoption Process
Working with adoption doesn’t mean we are here to just get the job done and say goodbye. We want to get to know you and make sure you are educated on your options, regardless of what you decide. Abiding Love puts the birth mother first and puts the decision in your hands. We meet face to face with you; not only that, but you interview your adoption advocate. That way you get to work with someone that you can have a genuine connection to. You decide the involvement of the advocate. You decide whether or not the advocate will come with you to your doctor appointments or be a part of the birthing process. Your advocate will be happy to spend time with you after birth for as long as you decide. We love that we don’t just become an advocate for you, but that we become family. At the end of the day, we want you to be empowered throughout the entire adoptive experience.
Is Adoption Right For Me?
You aren’t alone in asking this question. Research is important, but what’s more important is speaking with someone who understands the process and can provide you with the information you need. When an unintended pregnancy occurs and pregnancy options start racing through your mind, adoption seems like the most complicated. It’s important to understand that adoption is just as simple as the rest. There may be a few reasons for considering adoption: maybe financially you just won’t be able to provide the way you want, maybe your home life isn’t very stable, maybe it’s just the wrong timing. No matter the cause, we are here to help. To better understand if adoption is right for you then our previous blog is perfect for you!
Is The Permission Of The Biological Father Needed?
This varies from state to state. In Georgia, Alabama, Florida, and South Carolina, the birth father does not retain any legal rights. For the birth father to maintain any legal rights without question, the father must be married to the birth mother. The birth father must provide proof of financial involvement. Meaning that he must have been living with you, providing proof of payment for bills, and being present at doctor appointments. If the birth father has none of those things then he maintains zero rights over the child. Meaning that permission is not needed from the biological father. If the birth father is named, he will receive notification of the adoption, and if he desires to contest it, he must hire an attorney and go to court.
Now there may be a few reasons why getting permission from the biological father may not be possible or in some cases even dangerous for you and the baby. The biological father could be abusive; in this case, many states allow the mother to bypass informing the father. No matter what your situation, your adoption agency will help you understand your options.
Open Vs. Closed Adoption
When it comes to adoption, it comes in two forms: open and closed adoption.
Open Adoption: In this process, you and the adoptive family are in open communication with one another throughout the adoptive process. Once the child is born, you and the adoptive family continue to communicate and visit if that is your desire.
Closed Adoption: In a closed adoption, the process is much different. You will have zero contact with the adoptive family. Your advocate will communicate with the adoptive family on your behalf.
To better understand these two forms of adoption, check out our previous blog where we go into more detail.
Can I Choose Who Adopts My Child?
Yes, at Abiding Love you get to choose who adopts your child based on what you decide is best for him or her. We will sit down with you and you can tell us about the life you want to see for your child and the type of parents you imagine raising your child. Then you will be presented with the options of which adoptive parents may be best. You will look at their album and learn their story before selecting an adoptive family for your child. If you are comfortable with the idea, you can also meet with them and get to talk to them in person and continue communicating by exchanging phone numbers.
Can I Change My Mind About Adoption At Birth?
Yes, you can absolutely change your mind. The decision to place your child for adoption occurs twice. The first time being the moment you become pregnant, and the second choice when the child finally arrives. It’s important that you make these decisions within your own timing. Talk to your adoption agency and see what your options are. With Abiding Love, you have the freedom to change your mind about moving forward or not moving forward with an adoption plan without any judgment. If legal paperwork has been executed, and there is a revocation period, you just need to revoke your consents or surrenders. If no legal paperwork has been signed, you simply go home. Once you are home, if the support you thought you had is not present, and parenting is too much, creating an adoption plan is still an option. The drawback is the original family you chose may no longer be an option.
If you do decide that keeping your child is best for you and your child, it’s not uncommon to feel guilty about doing so. You may find yourself wondering what the adoptive parents will think or how they will feel. In this case, your advocate can talk to them on your behalf, or if you prefer, you can write them a letter explaining how you feel and your thought process involving the change of mind.
Will My Child Grow To Resent Me?
This is a common question that is asked, but not one that can be backed up by statistics or state laws. This is something unique to each person and is very personal. Adoption is tough, and the chances are that your child will know this too. The statistics in open adoptions show that the child and the birth mother have less unresolved grief in open adoption than a closed adoption. This is due to the fact that the child has the ability to know where they came from, their history and his birth family. Allowing the child to grow up knowing who they are.
What If I Choose A Closed Adoption and Want to Change My Mind?
Once the closed adoption is chosen and finalized, this can not be redone. You will have to wait until the child reaches the legal age of adulthood in their state in which they were adopted and chooses to reach out. If at any time the closed adoption becomes open, it is due to the fact that the adoptive family has chosen to reach out and communicate.
Can My Child Track Me Down When They’re Older?
Yes, the possibility of your child tracking you down is always a possibility. Especially as people continue to use such resources as Ancestry.com and 23 and Me to discover their heritage and learn more about their medical backgrounds. With such services available to the general public, the possibility of your child finding you increase, especially for those advertising that they can help you find your birth parents. Another popular way adoptive children find their parents is through the use of private investigators.
Since the beginning of 2003, Reunion Registries have been up and running in most states. The registry is a database of adopted children and birth mothers which allows for personal information to be shared if consent was given by the birth mother at the time of adoption. Each state has its own and if communication is ever lost, the child can use the database to reach out to her birth mother when the child has reached the appropriate age. If the birth mother keeps her information up to date, then it’s a simple process where the child will call the registry and gain the mother’s information.
Do I Need An Attorney?
Yes, during any and every adoption case an attorney will be needed. This attorney will be needed from the beginning of the adoption process until the adoptive family takes the baby home. When you think of getting an attorney, the costs of it all are probably what first comes to mind. The good news is with Abiding Love, you don’t need to worry about any of that, as we provide you with an attorney free of any charge. Your attorney and your advocate will walk you through all aspects of the process so that you are never left feeling overwhelmed or confused about any of the legalities of adoption. With guidance from your attorney and your advocate, you will be empowered to make the best choices for you and your child. If any changes occur or if you want to change something, they will help free of charge.
How Do I Know The Adoptive Family Is Safe?
When a family or individual seeks to adopt, they undergo a complex investigative process. A home study is done after all the necessary papers have been filed and all of the preliminary fees have been paid. During a home study, every aspect of their life will go under a microscope. Background checks will be completed, finances will be examined, the home life will be inspected, and an agent will interview the adoptive family multiple times. You name it and it’s most likely already been under scrutiny. It is incredibly difficult to make it through this process and the cost of it all is not cheap in the slightest. This is all done to make sure that only the best possible applicants are left and no one with ill intent is approved.
Adoption, done well, is a beautiful story that leads to healing and changed lives. However, that doesn’t mean that adoption isn’t a tough and at times emotionally draining process. That’s why at Abiding Love we make sure you come first at all times. We only talk to you and have zero contact with the adoptive family. We just want to be there to help and guide you through your adoption journey. That being said if you have any questions or concerns that weren’t covered in the blog, we ask that you reach out, so that we may help you. Call us today at (800) 277-0748.