Adoption in Florida

My Mother tells a story about me at the ripe age of 7. She found me pacing up and down the driveway with my suitcase full of necessities (i.e. dolls, toys, etc) in hand. A family friend happened to be out for a run and stopped me thinking I was planning to run away. He asked: “Carrie, what are you doing?” With the innocence of a 7 year old I simply answered “Mr. Stan don’t you know Jesus is coming? Are you ready?”

And with that I seem to have never stopped asking the same question to all who would listen. As I grew older I realized simply loving people was more effective than words – but when God opened the doors the question remained the same – Are you Ready?

I graduated from Wheaton College with degrees I would never use, but my time at Wheaton furthered my passion for others and a thirst to discover how my talents & passions fit into the body of christ.

My sweet husband, Gil, and I married fresh out of college. Only three months into our marriage when literally I woke him up in the middle of the night to say “God is calling me to go to Law School.” His response was as surprising as my impromptu announcement – He said “me too.” And with that we quit our jobs and went to Mercer University School of Law together. Throughout our time at Mercer I admit I was jealous of Gil. He was focused. He knew his calling was towards Tax law and Estate Planning. For three years I continually asked God “Are you sure I heard you right?” “Why am I here?” His steady voice continued to say “Just wait.”

After Graduation, I worked for a small general practice law firm in Savannah, Georgia. I was blessed with great partners who genuinely loved me, but I was lost – still not knowing why God had called me to practice law.

Within my first year of practice, I had my first Adoption case and a fire inside me started burning. Shortly afterwards The Murray Nellis Law Group was born. I quickly became involved in Juvenile Court cases and saw an opportunity to serve my clients by not only fighting for them inside the courtroom, but by loving them outside the courtroom walls as well. But as many do, I became disillusioned with the Juvenile System that so many times it fails our children and Birthparents. The Lord showed me that through Open Adoption children would have an opportunity for a stable safe upbringing and Birthparents would have the opportunity to reclaim their dignity and know what it means to be truly loved.

And so one thing lead to another – years have gone by and the Lord allowed my law practice to become exclusively centered around Adoption Law.

For years I have had the opportunity to work alongside Vicki, but in 2016, the Lord called us to start Abiding Love Adoption Agency. It is our passion to serve Birthparents and to serve them well by loving them FIRST! I consider it an honor that God chose me to love on such special women and men during one of the most difficult times of their lives.

The Sánskrit word, Antevasin, means “one who lives at the border,”  an “in-betweener,” constantly between old thinking and new understanding, which is how I’d best describe myself: living between two worlds. I was raised to be a proper Southern debutant, yet I knew there was more to life than the deep South, so I sought to explore the world. My varied life experiences and cultural perspectives have given me the gift of being objective, kind, and understanding of the needs of others. I’m not afraid to dive into serious and sometimes complex topics with people I just met. I’ve learned being vulnerable and respectful can lead to meaningful conversations and connections, all because there is a mutual understanding of the importance of each being seen and heard. There is space to understand “tradition” and question the why. There is power in inclusion and value in listening and learning from others. Last time I checked, ALL are welcome at Jesus’ table.

When faced with an unexpected pregnancy in 2006 and 2014, both times, the immediate feeling of panic, being overwhelmed, and confusion about what was the right thing to do consumed me. My first pregnancy ended in an abortion. I sought answers during my second pregnancy, determined to do what would be best for all.  There’s so much nonsense on the internet, and everyone wants to tell you what they think you should do when all I desired was someone to have an in-person, non-biased conversation with me to understand my options and learn what open adoption was all about. Rational, hard decisions needed to be made, and I couldn’t do that while in a crisis mentality. Often, when emotions take over decisions, regret follows. There was never the question of wanting my child, but what was best for my child. It’s tough to humble oneself and admit to feeling incapable of parenting. A true parent’s love is willing to sacrifice their wants and needs for what’s best for their child. This bittersweet decision was no different.  Open adoption has led to an incredible relationship with my son and his family. It is essential to recognize that we all hold space for our grief, yet the peace with my decision, communication, and love among us all provides balance.

Fifty percent of pregnancies are unexpected, which means half of pregnant women experience some kind of crisis. No one should have to make this journey alone. Life as she knew it is no more, and some hard decisions are ahead. As an advocate for women and our rights, I’ve joined the Abiding Love team to amplify her voice and provide a safe space to walk alongside, listen, have hard conversations, and empower her to ensure she knows all her rights in determining what’s best for her and her child.

Never Alone. Never Forgotten. Always Loved. ~ Abiding Love