Adoptive Family Traditions for the Adoption Triad

The holidays are just around the corner, and they will be upon us faster than you can snap a finger. When this time comes around, it can feel a little weird for a Birth Mom. There is a pull to want to participate in the holiday festivities with the adoptive family in some way but not wanting to overstep. It’s a confusing place to be in. For some adoptive families, the Birth Mom participates in everything, but that is a rarity. Usually, participation is a spectrum, and unfortunately, many Birth Moms are left wondering where they are welcomed. Some great common adoptive family traditions can keep the Birth Mom and Adoptive Family connected during the holidays so everyone has more peace with the celebrations in an adoption journey.

We want to share some ideas for how Birth Moms and Adoptive Families can create meaningful and memorable adoptive family traditions for everyone in their adoption triad. These traditions don’t have to be expensive to be meaningful, but making your child’s Birth Mom feel included will mean a lot to her and your Adoptee.

Adoptive Family Traditions That Top The List For The Holidays

One of the adoptive family traditions we often see for various reasons, not just the holidays, is sharing family recipes. It means a lot to a Birth Mom to pass on a family recipe to the Adoptive Family that they can share with their Adoptee. Sometimes, the recipes are more cultural; other times, they are family favorites and may even be the Birth Mom’s favorite. However, enjoying the same foods around the table with your Adoptee and sharing that their Birth Mom is probably having the same thing means a lot. Helping Adoptees stay connected to their roots is more grounding for them than leaving them out. If she hasn’t shared a recipe yet, ask. She’d love to participate in your adoptive family traditions in this way.

For Christmas, one of our favorite adoptive family traditions is to buy a Christmas ornament for the Birth Mom that matches one that the adoptive family will hang on their tree. This simple and so meaningful tradition will be a hit with your child’s Birth Mom and your Adoptee. Feeling included and knowing they share something with all of you is why it tops the adoptive family holiday traditions list.

Sometimes, an adoptive family tradition that lasts is a special time to meet and enjoy each other. Unique visits that have meaningful connections between the Birth Mother and the Adoptive Family create memories that last a lifetime. Pick a particular day around a holiday or a birthday to meet at the same time every year. Plan for a specific place to meet and celebrate together. Intentional planning makes everyone feel welcomed and included in whatever is being celebrated.

Adoptive Family Traditions That Honor The Birth Mom Who Is Not Involved

There are times when the child’s Birth Mom is not involved with the adoptive family for whatever reason. If she isn’t present, the Adoptive Family can wonder what to do about including her in the family story. There are still some great ways to honor your Adoptee’s Birth Mom, even if she is not in touch with the family right now.

For Christmas, you can buy a unique ornament to hang on your tree that reminds you of your child’s Birth Mom. Maybe you remember she liked birds, flowers, or some special place. Find an ornament that reminds you of your child’s Birth Mom and brings to mind a story about her that you can share with your Adoptee when decorating your Christmas tree.

You can still honor your child’s Birth Mom at your holiday table by sharing dishes that belong to her heritage if you don’t have personal family recipes from her. One of the best ways to honor your child’s Birth Mom is to celebrate your child’s heritage. Keeping your child’s heritage part of their story and identity will make your adoptee feel much more secure in who they are and help them feel connected to their family of origin. Adoptees still need connections to their adoption story, even if his or her Birth Mom is not in touch right now.

Things To Share With Your Child’s Birth Mom Around Any Holiday

Do you know what your child’s Birth Mom would like to know about how your child likes to celebrate their special days? Everything! Many children celebrate holidays by dressing up in costumes such as Halloween and Purim. If your child wears a costume for a holiday, share those pictures with her. Costume choices usually reflect the child’s interests, so it is fun to share those with her. She wants to know what interests her child. Do they like Batman? Are they into Princesses? Share those insights with her.

Birthday party pictures go a long way in helping your child’s Birth Mom feel like she is included in Adoptive Family Traditions. Any pictures you can share around holidays and special events are more than welcome. If you think she should see it, send it.

Adoptive Family Traditions Mean Connections With All Of The Family

Families celebrating fun times together are best shared with all family members whenever possible. Your child’s Birth Mom is still a member of the family and should be included in some way. We hope you can take a couple of these suggestions to make your child’s Birth Mom a more integral part of your next round of celebrating adoptive family traditions.